Cup of the Day

For those of you who don't know me well or for those of you that know me well, but won't pay much attention to me, you may not know that I spent over a year of my life working at Borders in the cafe. Borders Cafe is a great place to go to read books, magazines, enjoy a cup of joe and emotionally abuse the cafe staff. You haven't WORKED with the general public until you've served upper middle class civilians.

Now, I consider myself to be a nice, patient girl with typically a positive outlook on life. This place made me feel like I was in desperate need for some electric shock therapy. There's only so many times you can hear, "this wasn't that I wanted...I ordered an espresso"..."M'aam that is an espresso"...."no this isn't what I wanted".

There is also only so many times you can fight about the difference between half & half and cream. Now I know half & half is milk AND cream, but half & half IS CREAM when there is a customer that is bitching about the fact that it is ABSURD that a coffee place doesn't have regular cream. Also, demanding a supervisor to come over to refund her money for the $1.72 coffee she just bought. Can you even imagine?

Of course, there weren't just high class yuppy types making sure there was at least an inch of foam on there 5 year olds hot cocoa, there were some crazies that would also make a daily appearance. Which leads me to the story of THE SNAKE. Now most of you are thinking this is a name I made up...that is incorrect. This guy introduces himself as The Snake. He then hisses. NO JOKE! He would wear headphones and listen to static (some say to block out the "voices"). You could actually hear the static because he would listen to it so loudly. He was a shaker as well. The "shake" didn't resemble that of Michael J. Foxx, but more like Robert Downey Jr in desperate need of a fix.

One time, he introduced himself as THE SNAKE to one of my co-workers and she introduced herself as THE MONGOOSE. He freaked and went to management saying that there was mean people working here. Seriously, I couldn't make this up. Well I totally could, but I'm not.

This cafe job wasn't the first job I had making coffee for the public. I also worked in a small coffee shop in a local mall. This job was good for two reasons. One, the boss wasn't there all day, she would pop in 4-5 times a week...and Two, it was impossible to get fired from the job.

I got caught talking on the phone numerous times.

I got caught drinking more coffee than I was allowed.

My boss asked me to do something specific and when she came in the next day and asked me why I didn't do it... I said, "I don't know...I forgot"

I got caught standing on a table singing into an icecream scoop as if it were a microphone with the music up really loud.

I got caught letting the boy who worked next door smoke in our bathroom.

I even fell asleep there before! I took cold medicine and passed out on the desk!

Finally I just quit in a rage...

My boss needed help one month, so she asked me to work the yogurt stand next door to the cafe that she also owned. Her nephew was the manager. I worked there a week and the other staff would never show up on time or just wouldn't come in. It sucked.

The manager (nephew of my BOSS) got called in and took it out on me one day. I was pissed. He said, "people should come in when they are put on the schedule". (in an Indian accent...I forgot to mention that. Not that it matters, but I want you to embrace the situation in its entirety).

I said, "it's not me, but it doesn't even matter b/c you don't have to put ME ON THE SCHEDULE ANYMORE......I QUIT!!" I walked out front and saw a line of customers who obviously heard me yelling. I yelled from the front, "BY THE WAY YOU HAVE CUSTOMERS OUT HERE!" and slammed the door and left.

I went back a week later and my boss hired me in the cafe again.
(what? I needed the money!)