Cup of the Day

For those of you who don't know me well or for those of you that know me well, but won't pay much attention to me, you may not know that I spent over a year of my life working at Borders in the cafe. Borders Cafe is a great place to go to read books, magazines, enjoy a cup of joe and emotionally abuse the cafe staff. You haven't WORKED with the general public until you've served upper middle class civilians.

Now, I consider myself to be a nice, patient girl with typically a positive outlook on life. This place made me feel like I was in desperate need for some electric shock therapy. There's only so many times you can hear, "this wasn't that I wanted...I ordered an espresso"..."M'aam that is an espresso"...."no this isn't what I wanted".

There is also only so many times you can fight about the difference between half & half and cream. Now I know half & half is milk AND cream, but half & half IS CREAM when there is a customer that is bitching about the fact that it is ABSURD that a coffee place doesn't have regular cream. Also, demanding a supervisor to come over to refund her money for the $1.72 coffee she just bought. Can you even imagine?

Of course, there weren't just high class yuppy types making sure there was at least an inch of foam on there 5 year olds hot cocoa, there were some crazies that would also make a daily appearance. Which leads me to the story of THE SNAKE. Now most of you are thinking this is a name I made up...that is incorrect. This guy introduces himself as The Snake. He then hisses. NO JOKE! He would wear headphones and listen to static (some say to block out the "voices"). You could actually hear the static because he would listen to it so loudly. He was a shaker as well. The "shake" didn't resemble that of Michael J. Foxx, but more like Robert Downey Jr in desperate need of a fix.

One time, he introduced himself as THE SNAKE to one of my co-workers and she introduced herself as THE MONGOOSE. He freaked and went to management saying that there was mean people working here. Seriously, I couldn't make this up. Well I totally could, but I'm not.

This cafe job wasn't the first job I had making coffee for the public. I also worked in a small coffee shop in a local mall. This job was good for two reasons. One, the boss wasn't there all day, she would pop in 4-5 times a week...and Two, it was impossible to get fired from the job.

I got caught talking on the phone numerous times.

I got caught drinking more coffee than I was allowed.

My boss asked me to do something specific and when she came in the next day and asked me why I didn't do it... I said, "I don't know...I forgot"

I got caught standing on a table singing into an icecream scoop as if it were a microphone with the music up really loud.

I got caught letting the boy who worked next door smoke in our bathroom.

I even fell asleep there before! I took cold medicine and passed out on the desk!

Finally I just quit in a rage...

My boss needed help one month, so she asked me to work the yogurt stand next door to the cafe that she also owned. Her nephew was the manager. I worked there a week and the other staff would never show up on time or just wouldn't come in. It sucked.

The manager (nephew of my BOSS) got called in and took it out on me one day. I was pissed. He said, "people should come in when they are put on the schedule". (in an Indian accent...I forgot to mention that. Not that it matters, but I want you to embrace the situation in its entirety).

I said, "it's not me, but it doesn't even matter b/c you don't have to put ME ON THE SCHEDULE ANYMORE......I QUIT!!" I walked out front and saw a line of customers who obviously heard me yelling. I yelled from the front, "BY THE WAY YOU HAVE CUSTOMERS OUT HERE!" and slammed the door and left.

I went back a week later and my boss hired me in the cafe again.
(what? I needed the money!)

Registry of Motor Vehicles

Today, I had to go to the RMV in Worcester. When we were young we usually would call it, "The Reg" or the "Rizzle of Motor Vehizzle". It brought back fond memories of going to driving school and getting my license. It also brought back memories of when my registration was expired accidentally not too long ago. It also brought back memories of 'Nam.

I have yet to figure out the RMV. I try so hard to crack the code of the alpha-numeric system they have going on down there. It just seems like there is no rhyme or reason to it. Every time I go, there are SO many people...yet I always seem to only wait 5 minutes. Does this happen to anyone else? I just don't understand it. I like to yell BINGO when my alpha-number is called.

Getting back to the story, I went today to pay a citation that was overdue. Apparently, if I didn't pay it today they thought it would be best if I didn't have a license. What does not paying a speeding ticket have to do with the ability to drive anyway?

I'm a good driver...if they granted me a license when I was 17, they obviously think I am capable. Although, on my drivers test I tried to take off with the emergency break up (the car made a HORRIBLE SOUND)...took four right hand turns to circle the block and the guy thought that would be enough to consider me a licensed driver. You got to love Worcester.

Most people I knew that took it in other towns had a lot more things they had to do before being granted a license to drive. Which leads me to a thought on the presidency...I feel like from now on the Presidential candidates should be chosen as the leader of this country based on a driving test. Screw voting! They would have to take the driving test in EACH state to be fair. The one that passes the most, WINS! My opinion is if you can't parallel park...you can't run a country. Bush would have cheated and took the test with one of those new cars that parallel parks for you...I just KNOW it!

As I sat down in the waiting area, I noticed a man coming in from the cold. His face was all red...he looked like he had walked there from Paxton or something. He was in full sweat suit with a huge red belly exposed. (I didn't know that belly's got red from the cold...you learn something new every day at the RMV). He walked straight to the bathroom. I just thought it was a little ironic that someone who apparently didn't have a car would come in to use the RMVs bathroom.

I came to the conclusion that I like the RMV. Everyone looks shitty...no one dresses up to go there. There are many types of people. I saw this one guy who looked like he was on steroids with a huge neck & huge arms. He had a grumpy look on his face as he swayed from side to side with his arms out walking to his seat. I thought to myself, "what's this guys problem". But then he noticed that Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer was playing on the speaker, smiled and did a little dance. (ha ha ha) I then immediately thought this guy was cool.

The only downside to the RMV, besides the fact you are usually going there to pay them money, is you can't have food or drink in there. I think that they should put in restaurants. They don't realize that people are hungry and thirsty in a waiting room. Think of all the money they could make. But then again just like swimming, you should wait at least an hour after eating to take your driving test. One last thought...I really don't think that the people who work there are human. I think they are aliens...no human could work that job. Plus, I think I saw a tentacle on one of them.