Cocaine & Dunkin Donuts

I don't know about you, but I think that Dunkin Donuts puts cocaine into their coffee. The reason I think this is because I am specifically addicted to D & D's caffienated beverages. I have absolutely no evidence to back this up, but I don't need evidence...when I have faith.

If you ask me, there is something REALLY shady about Dunkin Donuts. It messes with you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Allow me to explain. Physically, if I don't get my Dunkins coffee...I start to shake uncontrollably, break out in a rash and my head feels like it's stuck in a carpenter's vice. Emotionally, I start to get rageful and end up kicking my cats and hurting small children for looking at me the wrong way. Spiritually, I see dead people.

Eventually, people are going to start opening clinics to help D&D caffiene addicts. All the celebrities will have big media conferences stating that they will be checking themselves into the D&DCA Clinic. Mel Gibson will blame D&D Coffee for making prejudice remarks. Madonna will adopt a D&DCA baby. You'll see advertisments for the D&D patch. I'm telling you...people could make MILLIONS off of this specific addiction. People will start getting mugged walking down the street for the Dunkins coffee they are drinking.

D&DCA Anonymous Meetings would be hosted by Starbucks...My name is Sarah and I'm a Dunkin Donuts Coffee Addict. Dunkins Coffee has taken a hold of my life like no other coffee has. I tried to switch to Green Mountain, but it didn't work. My only hope for a cure is if Starbucks lowers it's prices and we all know that isn't happening any time soon. I'm doomed!